New Year's Revision Conference!
Pull out your dusty novel and give it a makeover.
Go to http://operationawesome6.blogspot.com/2012/12/pre-writers-conference-giveaway-nyrc.html?showComment=1356111808307#c4902962985595189214

Excerpt from MG fantasy novel

I've received some excellent feedback on my new novel, first and foremost from my wife, and next from the GUTGAA blogfest. My query was selected for a Pitch Polish workshop and, using that advice, I've completely rewritten my first chapter. Below is an excerpt (only the first 600 words, NOT the complete first chapter). What do you think? Does this make you want to read more?

               Far below the ocean surface, off the coast of Haiti, an eleven year-old girl named Marie drifted along the currents. Dark waters wrapped around her like a cocoon as she slept fitfully. Her body twitched and jerked as images crashed and tossed in her mind. Children laughed and called her malsòti, or “weirdo”. An old woman with dreadlocks peered down over wire-rimmed glasses and scolded her for being disobedient. Their faces twirled and crashed together, becoming a giant wave that swallowed Marie, spinning her around and around until she couldn’t tell if she was up or down.

            Help me! she screamed. Someone please help!

            I’m here, dear one, a familiar voice said. I’ll protect you.

            The waters in her dream parted, revealing her mother’s face. Soft brown eyes the color of warm banana yam pudding watched her. Thin lips stretched from one high cheekbone to the other in the most beautiful smile Marie could imagine. Tight cornrows peeked out from beneath an emerald green head skirt.

            Manman, the girl said. Is it really you?

            You called to me and I heard you, her mother said. It’s time for us to be together again.

            I’ve waited so long to hear that, Manman.

            It’s time. Open your eyes.

            Marie frowned. What do you mean?

            The woman’s face flickered and dimmed. Open your eyes.

            Wait! Marie reached out but as her fingers touched her mother’s face, the image rippled and faded even more. Manman! Don’t leave me! Please don’t leave again!

            Open your eyes.

            Marie’s eyes flew open. Everything was dark.

            She started to shout, “Manman! Where are you?” but as soon as she opened her mouth, water rushed in. The salt made her gag. She spat it out. More water rushed in. She flailed her arms and legs. She was really underwater!

            Don’t panic. You’re safe here.

            Manman? Marie thought as she stopped thrashing and moved only her feet to tread water, not daring to open her mouth again.

No, child, but you can trust me.

The voice was familiar, yet strange and wonderful, rising and falling like the waves. She heard it clearly as if she was on dry land. How could that be? For that matter, how could she hold her breath for so long?

You’re not holding your breath.

Marie stopped moving. Was that true? Hesitantly, she released her breath. Tiny bubbles tickled her chin. She parted her lips and inhaled, allowing a thin stream to enter her mouth. The salty water trickled down her throat. It burned a little at first, but then it didn’t bother her. Instead of spitting it out, she drank in a little more. Soon, she was taking deep breaths.

That’s better, isn’t it?

“Who are you?” Marie said aloud as she searched the darkness. “How can I possibly be breathing underwater?”

Anything is possible here.

A pinpoint of light appeared and hovered near the Marie’s nose. Startled, she swatted it away. The light dodged her hand and moved a few feet away. As it did, it expanded and brightened. Bigger and brighter it grew, until it exploded in a brilliant flash, forcing Marie to shield her eyes with her hands.

Slowly, the light dimmed enough for Marie to lower her hands. When she did, she gasped in wonder.

Surrounded by a ball of amber light, a beautiful woman floated in front of her with black hair billowing from her head like a fan and an aquamarine gown rippling over her chocolate skin. Her green eyes sparkled like gemstones as she smiled, displaying teeth that glittered like sun-bleached shells. As she raised her arms, fish and sea creatures of all sizes and colors danced and spun around her in a marvelous ballet. 

“Hello,” the woman said. “I am LaSirène.”

Welcome!

Welcome to my blog! This is where you will find tidbits of information about parenting and child development and behavior, along with some fun stories and excerpts. While questions are always welcome, please keep in mind that I cannot provide patient-specific medical advice here. Never fear, however--there will be plenty of helpful hints and suggestions based on research and clinical experience that I plan to incorporate into a complete parenting guide in the near future. I may even include an excerpt from my middle-grade fantasy novel that I'm currently submitting to agents and publishers.

With that in mind, stay tuned for more to come!